“Should I change my surname?”

Subsequently, the thought of changing my surname now feels like a concession, like I’m giving up my feminist principles to make my life – and my family – less confusing for everyone else.

On top of that, I don’t know how I feel about taking on a name that I’ve adamantly rejected for so long. Tradition foisted my husband’s surname on me even when I didn’t want it (I receive cards and letters addressed to my ‘married name’ even now), and I find myself conflicted when I think about actively using that name for myself.

I love my husband, and I understand why he wants us to double-barrel, but the decision he made 10 years ago to keep his own surname when we married was never one he had to defend, and that, to my mind, makes his desire to change his name now a much less complicated one.