How the Queen and Charles clashed with William after he refused to stop flying his young family around Britain in his helicopter. Royal insiders reveal to ROBERT JOBSON what Kate’s like behind closed doors in his definitive new book

When Prince William proposed to Catherine Middleton in 2010, in the wilds of Kenya, he gave her his mother’s sapphire and diamond engagement ring. Astonishingly, it fit her perfectly, without any adjustments at all.

As she told a member of the crowd on one of her later walkabouts: ‘It was the same size; it is very special. What an honour to be able to wear it.’

In marrying the elder son of Prince Charles, Catherine was aware she’d one day have to tread in her late mother-in-law’s footsteps —but the prospect of becoming the Princess of Wales held little appeal.

She knew she’d inevitably be compared with Diana, whose untimely death had provoked such a tsunami of anger and grief. And she was right. The similarities and differences between the two women were dissected ad infinitum, and even discussed in the royal household.

Kate found all such talk stressful. Indeed, it got to the point where she felt she might follow Camilla (who opted to become Duchess of Cornwall) in refusing — when the time came — to be known as HRH Princess of Wales.

In the end, however, she accepted her promotion with good grace, out of respect for her husband and the King. Enough time had passed to make the title more palatable, and Catherine had been on the world stage long enough to be appreciated for her own qualities.

The truth is that she is very different from Diana: better educated, far more stable and less concerned about making a splash as a glamorous icon.

It matters less that the late princess was born an aristocrat while Catherine’s parents were solidly middle class.

Perhaps the most fundamental difference between the two Princesses of Wales is that Diana, who grew up in a broken home, lacked a foundation of security. By contrast, Catherine’s own childhood was blissful. Having enjoyed a secure and loving upbringing, she’s determined to replicate as many aspects of it as possible for her three children.

Diana — admittedly so much younger when she married into the Royal Family — was headstrong and emotional, and William has turned out to have similar traits.

One reason his marriage works so well is that — like the Queen Mother — Catherine is a calming influence on her spouse. An instinctive peace-maker, she has smoothed the way for William and his father to have a better relationship than they had in the past.

‘In recent years, they have become much closer,’ said a senior source. ‘He also respects his father and his devotion to service, but he feels the fact his father put work first had a detrimental impact on him when he was growing up and didn’t help their father/son relationship.’

William’s relationship with his mother was also more complex than is generally understood.

Diana was devoted to both her sons and was often pictured hugging them or stroking their hair. But William also has memories of a fraught childhood, trying to cope with the heartache of his parents’ broken marriage.

Sources close to him say that his father could be distant, and that his mother leant on William perhaps too much, using him as her ’emotional crutch’ when he was far too young to understand what was going on.

He asked Diana to stop saying negative things about his father to him, because he didn’t want to take sides. And he has admitted that, on occasion, he felt embarrassed by his mother’s behaviour as she lurched out of control.

The contrast to his life with Catherine, who projects a sense of calm, could hardly be greater. She satisfies his craving for normalcy — insofar as any royal can have a truly normal existence. Although William doesn’t blame either of his parents for their problems, he feels that Charles retreated into the safe house of his work, putting duty before being a parent — with the result that both his sons felt a little lost and alone during childhood.

For William now, nothing is more important to him than being a hands-on dad during his children’s formative years. He wants for them the kind of carefree childhood that the Middletons provided for Catherine, rather than the constant dramas of his own.

Often, he’ll spend quality time with his elder son George, one-on-one, and he seems to relish displaying their close bond to the world. George, who insists on dressing like his father when he accompanies him, is even beginning to copy William’s mannerisms. If he ever appears awkward or overwhelmed, his dad is always close by to put a protective hand on his shoulder.

Fully supported by his wife, William has a more tactile parenting style than his father ever did, and wants his three children to look back at their childhood with a feeling of being wrapped in love.

During his own, he feels, he never really experienced that same sense of devotion from his father. Due to Catherine’s self‑appointed role as peace-broker, however, these simmering resentments have largely been dispelled. She’s encouraged William to be affectionate with his father, and has developed a ‘warm’ relationship with Camilla, whom Diana blamed for wrecking her marriage.

Having Catherine as a loving arbiter has also helped William to understand his father better.

‘[She] is somebody who always tries to see both sides of any dispute,’ a source said. She has a cool head and is ’emotionally mature’; she can open William’s eyes to other points of view. ‘She is a stabilising influence.’

As for King Charles, he refers to Catherine as his ‘beloved daughter-in-law’ and has come to regard her as the daughter he never had. His eyes light up when he sees her at family functions, and they always make a bee-line for each other.

He inevitably greets her with a loving kiss, and they’re often seen laughing and joking together. Privately, she addresses the King affectionately as ‘Grandpa’.

‘I think the [King] understands Catherine is a good influence on the entire family. He loves and truly appreciates everything she does,’ says a courtier.

Before Harry started lobbing missiles from California, Charles was much closer to him than to his elder son. No longer: William and his father are perhaps closer now than they’ve ever been.

Yet tensions between them still occasionally flare up, despite Catherine’s efforts. She has learned to tread carefully and sometimes let time do the healing.

One courtier explained: ‘The King’s relationship with both his sons has been difficult over the years. Even now he is King, with the Prince of Wales, there can be differences of opinion and tensions. Of course, they love each other, but they clash, and sometimes William needs handling with kid gloves.’

Another courtier confirmed: ‘You have to check first which way the wind is blowing with the prince. They don’t see eye to eye on several issues, but why should they? [Prince William’s] moment in the top job will come — perhaps he would do well to remember it is not yet. This is His Majesty’s time.’

When he loses his temper, William is a bit of a shouter — and his father tends to give as good as he gets. The difference these days is that their arguments usually blow over quite quickly.

One recent source of disagreement is William’s stubborn refusal to take his father’s advice on safeguarding the succession.Earlier this year, the King had raised concerns with his son about the wisdom of William using his helicopter to fly his entire family around the country.

An experienced pilot, William had upset the late Queen when he defied her request not to pilot his family the 115 miles from Kensington Palace to Anmer Hall, their home in Norfolk. The Queen, haunted by the 1967 crash that killed the Captain of the Queen’s Flight (although no royals were on board), ‘did not hold back’, one aide said.

After being diagnosed with cancer, King Charles — perhaps reminded of his own mortality —echoed his late mother’s concerns. And when William refused to stop flying with his family, Charles insisted that he sign a formal document, acknowledging the risks involved and taking full responsibility for his actions.

It would be scant consolation, of course, for an unspeakable tragedy, let alone for the prospect of King Harry and Queen Meghan…

Diana was an archetypal free spirit, a royal rebel who used her fame to raise awareness for difficult causes — from leprosy to Aids, homelessness and the clearing of landmines. One of her greatest achievements was to make the House of Windsor more relevant in the modern age.

During the ITV engagement interview she did with William in 2010, Catherine was asked if she found it intimidating to be following in the footsteps of this ‘massive iconic figure’.

Her reply, which encompassed praise for Diana as an inspirational woman, ended with the simple words: ‘Yes, I do.’

It was the first time most people had heard Catherine speak publicly and some were surprised to note that her accent was perhaps overly posh, even compared with William’s. Afterwards even members of her own family gently ribbed her about how upper-class it sounded. (Over time, however, her accent has become less clipped.) During the interview, William stepped in protectively to say: ‘No one is going to try to fill my mother’s shoes — what she did was fantastic. It’s about making your own future and your own destiny, and Kate will do a very good job of that.’

Diana was always going to be a tough act to follow but, from the outset, Catherine has never tried to do so.

Before joining ‘the Firm’, she wisely established some fundamental rules. She wouldn’t be pigeon-holed into carrying out particular duties and insisted on eventually having her full quota of maternity leave, away from the glare of the media and public.

Her priority, she emphasised, would be to maintain a balance between her royal obligations and what she held most dear: a loving marriage and a happy family life.

This didn’t mean that she wouldn’t carry out royal duties; far from it. But she wanted to offer her patronage only to charities close to her interests and delve into their purpose with in-depth study.

These ‘terms’ were, in fact, presented by William to Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles in early 2015, when Catherine was pregnant with Charlotte. On her behalf, he explained that she wanted more space to grow into her role and needed more time to adapt to the peculiarities of royal life.

It turned out he was pushing against an open door. Princess Diana had repeatedly complained to the Queen that she always felt like an outsider, and the last thing the monarch wanted was for the pattern to repeat itself with Catherine.

The Queen had also resolved that the institution, and those who worked for it, would have to perform far better than they did with Diana in welcoming and nurturing newcomers. She knew, too, that if this marriage failed, there’d be far more at stake than a broken heart.

Since the early days of William’s romance with Kate, Queen Elizabeth had monitored it from a discreet distance. She didn’t interfere, but she was privately delighted by his choice. For understandable reasons, Her Majesty particularly liked the lack of drama that came with Catherine.

‘The Duchess always appeared to be calm and circumspect. Her Majesty was drawn to her sensible approach when she arrived on the scene,’ a former courtier said. ‘She found her very polite and good-natured, and she liked the way she interacted with members of the family. She seemed very at ease.’

This time, the Queen had wanted no surprises or mistakes, and she quietly let it be known among the family that they should welcome Catherine with open arms. Behind the scenes, her Majesty was also a huge help, personally guiding Kate on what was expected of her at court and in public.

‘She’s been very generous in not being forceful at all and in any of her views,’ Catherine said about her relationship with the late Queen, ‘but I feel she’s been there, a gentle guidance, really, for me.’

As for Prince Philip, he was simply relieved William had found such a ‘level-headed’ girl to marry. He gave Catherine some sage advice: never to believe that the attention she’d receive as a member of the Royal Family was for her personally. It was for what she was supporting, he said. He also warned her against looking at the camera, as celebrities do.

His advice chimed with her. She has also remained true to her resolution to stick to charities close to her heart — particularly those that deal with the early years of childhood — which means she has fewer royal patronages than Diana did, but can dig deeper.

When a child is not properly nurtured up to the age of five, Catherine fervently believes, it can lead to all kinds of societal problems, including depression and addiction. Her detailed knowledge of scientific studies in this field has impressed even leading academics.

On days when she has no royal engagements, she’ll often be making Zoom calls with the executive officers in charge of the charities she supports, or spending hours going through reports.

For her part, Queen Elizabeth was immensely proud of both Catherine and William’s achievements on the royal stage. She was also delighted with the wholesome image they portrayed in public. After the turmoil of the Diana years, this came as a most welcome relief.

According to Catherine’s uncle, Gary Goldsmith, the latest Princess of Wales is ‘self-sufficient, resourceful, and extremely capable. She comes from a family of doers and fixers. [Her mother] has taught her girls to deal with problems with calm capability, not histrionics.’

If Catherine has ever struggled to cope with the strains of royal life, she has never complained publicly — unlike Princess Diana or Meghan. True to her upbringing, she just gets on with it.

Some have criticised her for being bland. The late novelist Dame Hilary Mantel went further, scathingly describing her as a ‘jointed doll on which certain rags are hung’. Nothing could be further from the truth. Although Catherine has learned to play the dressing-up game, wearing sumptuous designer gowns for formal occasions, she’s not interested in being a fashion plate.

Often, she mixes high street clothes with designer labels, or wears cheap-as-chips earrings. This is by choice — though it doesn’t hurt that, with her size 6 figure and height of 5ft 9in, she can look good in pretty much anything.

In the UK, she largely sticks to shades of red, white and blue: a recent study found that 67 per cent of Catherine’s outfits fall within these three colours. The public has also grown used to seeing her in jeans or informal country wear.

She may be unusually pretty, but she is not vain. When a student told Catherine during a walkabout in Poland that she was ‘beautiful and perfect’, her response was: ‘It’s not true — it’s just the make-up.’

It took several months of talks to persuade her to do a shoot for British Vogue in 2016, to mark its 100th anniversary. Far from wanting to pose in couture, she asked to be photographed in informal clothes appropriate for the Norfolk countryside.

According to Vogue’s then editor-in-chief Alexandra Shulman, Catherine arrived for the shoot in jeans, a parka jacket and her hair in big rollers. Once she was made up, she barely checked herself in the mirror, spending far more time asking the photographer technical questions about how he composed his pictures.

William attests to Catherine’s sense of humour, saying they make each other laugh. Even in public, she can occasionally be playful or mischievous.

During a royal tour of the Bahamas, her eyes lit up when locals told her a dish called ‘conch pistol’ had the same effect as Viagra. She then boldly held up the strip of flesh, said to be the conch’s male genitalia, before popping it into her mouth. ‘I’m a little bit more adventurous than William is,’ she said teasingly.

Like Diana, she exudes empathy and natural warmth, and will always crouch down to talk to small children. On walkabouts, she listens intently to what people are saying, and is often seen lagging some distance behind her husband, which has resulted in teasing from him.

She may not have media favourites, to be briefed in private as Diana often did, but she understands what photographers need from her. On a visit to an exhibition in the Netherlands, she deliberately wore pearl-drop earrings, knowing they’d help make a good shot as she studied Johannes Vermeer’s 17-century masterpiece Girl With The Pearl Earring.

That particular visit was a real treat for Catherine, as she’d studied the painting when she did her History of Art degree. She’s so keen on art that she’s been known to head out early in the morning to make secret visits to London art galleries. At home, she has a nanny but no live-in staff. Very much a hands-on mother, she alternates with William in taking the children to school, encourages them to have outdoor adventures and organises their playdates.

‘Someone did ask me the other day,’ she has said, ‘what would you want your children to remember about their childhood?

‘And I thought that was a good question, because if you really think about that, is it that I’m sitting down trying to do their maths and spelling homework over the weekend? Or is it the fact that we’ve gone out and lit a bonfire and sat around trying to cook sausages that hasn’t worked because it’s too wet?

‘That’s what I would want them to remember, those moments with me as a mother, but also the family going to the beach, getting soaking wet, filling our boots full of water . . . not a stressful household where you’re trying to do everything and not really succeeding at one thing.’

With William, Catherine also enjoys playing competitive games of tennis or lolling on the sofa and watching box sets — including Homeland and Game Of Thrones — when ‘the kiddies are in bed’. They like their low-key lifestyle at Adelaide Cottage in Windsor, and remain very much in love.

Catherine’s recent cancer diagnosis has, of course, been a huge shock, but William has lovingly supported her through the trials of chemotherapy.

M eanwhile, the fact that the King is also undergoing treatment for cancer has helped focus attention on just how this middle-class Berkshire girl has helped revitalise interest in the monarchy. She may not have the starry allure of Princess Diana, but she’s brought stability, empathy, glamour and an enquiring mind to the royal institution.

Commander Patrick Jephson, the former private secretary to Princess Diana, believes the monarchy needs ‘reassuringly conventional royal performers’ such as Catherine. She holds this royal dynasty’s future in her hands, he says, adding: ‘It helps that Catherine, like Diana, has that indefinable but essential royal quality: presence.’

In a way, she is much like the late Queen — quietly wielding influence without ever succumbing to the siren lure of celebrity.

The King, say those close to him, has unwavering faith in Catherine, and sees her as a lynchpin for the modern monarchy.

Adapted from Catherine, The Princess Of Wales, by Robert Jobson, to be published by John Blake on August 1, at £22. © Robert Jobson 2024. To order a copy for £19.80 (offer valid to August 10, 2024; UK P&P free on orders over £25), go to mailshop.co.uk/books or call 020 3176 2937.

By the end, Queen could barely lift her teapot

The death of her beloved Philip hit the late Queen very hard. She’d also lost several close friends, who’d died in quick succession around the same time, and as a result felt increasingly isolated.

In her final years, she took to inviting former members of her staff to come to visit her in her private apartments to talk about the old times. One of them revealed later: ‘She told me she didn’t know anybody [her staff and servants] any more.’

The brightest light on her increasingly limited horizon was regular visits and several phone calls a week from her grandson William, which brought them closer than ever.

Catherine had instantly grasped that it was important for her husband to be geographically closer to his grandmother in her final months, so they’d decided to move early to Adelaide Cottage, a four-bedroom house close to the castle on the Windsor estate. This made a real difference. ‘[Prince William] knew his time with his grandmother was precious and he is delighted they, as a couple, made that decision,’ said one aide.

Behind the scenes, Queen Elizabeth was feeling terribly frail. Her final appearance on the Buckingham Palace balcony, as the finale to the Platinum Jubilee, took real courage as she was in constant pain from a form of myeloma, a bone-marrow cancer.

Her health deteriorated rapidly over the following three months. She struggled terribly with failing eyesight, and had difficulty even lifting a teapot to fill her cup.

‘Her Majesty could hardly see and just didn’t have the strength,’ a source close to the late Queen said. ‘She would get terribly frustrated as she hated causing a mess, pouring it over the tray. She asked for a smaller pot and would get frustrated when the staff forgot and brought the big one.’

She knew she was dying. But as her strength ebbed away, it brought her immense comfort to know the monarchy could be entrusted to the next two generations.