bitchy | Mail: The Sussexes could have been living like the Tindalls all this time!

Mike and Zara Tindall arrived in Australia last week. Most years – except for the pandemic years – the Tindalls get paid to go to Australia around this time. Zara is an ambassador for some Australian horse thing (I’ve never really understood exactly what), and so the Tindalls are in Oz for a week or so every year, doing events and walking red carpets. I have no idea how much they get paid, but I suspect it’s probably in the low six figures. Last year, the Mail tried to convince everyone that Mike and Zara have more “earning power” than the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, because something something royal-adjacent, I guess. This year, the Mail is saying that the Tindalls are living the life which could have been Harry and Meghan’s. You mean half-in/half-out and striking commercial deals? Gee, I wonder if anyone suggested that? From the Mail’s “Fun-loving, popular and living the life Harry and Meghan turned their backs on: Inside story of royal couple who are model of what Sussexes could have been – and the revealing details that show just what they have lost.”

This week marks five years since Megxit, the infamous moment the Duke and Duchess of Sussex announced they were ditching the Royal Family for a life of freedom. They planned to pursue exciting new work opportunities, find fans further afield and enjoy a happiness that had eluded them as senior members of The Firm. So it must be somewhat galling for Harry and Meghan, as they continue to struggle to make their mark in America, to see another royal couple living the life that still eludes them.

Mike and Zara Tindall, daughter of Princess Anne and granddaughter of Queen Elizabeth II, are a template of what the couple could have been – fun-loving, easy-going and immensely popular. And as they throw themselves into their annual summer season Down Under, the Tindalls make combining purposeful endeavours with a jolly good time look effortless. Adored in both hemispheres for their warmth and down-to-earth attitude, they’re not quite what we expect from royalty – but exactly what the institution needs.

In Australia for the annual equestrian event, the Magic Millions Carnival, where both are ambassadors – Zara competes and Mike helps with judging karaoke and compering – they’re a couple who’ve cleverly designed a life that straddles palaces and beaches, monarchy and mates. The Tindalls are proof that you can be both royal and ‘normal’. Snapping carefree selfies with admirers at the Pacific Fair Magic Millions Polo event, Zara, 43, and her husband, 46, are a cheery antidote to the Sussexes.

While Meghan, 43, is returning to her role as a lifestyle influencer with carefully curated Instagram posts promoting With Love, Meghan – her new Netflix show that’s straight from the trad wife playbook – Harry, 40, seems to fill his days with court cases and surfing. How much easier their life would have been if they’d opted for a low-key but royal-adjacent life like the Tindalls.

The Tindalls arguably enjoy the best life of anyone in the Royal Family and it’s precisely the model Harry and Meghan could have carved out if they’d negotiated Megxit with greater care and diplomacy.

If you read the whole piece, the Mail suggests that Zara and Mike should start getting formal roles within the monarchy, and perhaps step into Commonwealth positions like Harry and Meghan had five years ago. I guess after five years, no one over there has given up on trying to rewrite the narrative and reimagine the real history. Harry and Meghan actually suggested something a lot like Mike and Zara’s situation, where they would have been still welcome to appear at family events and still able to do royal work. That option was soundly rejected. Not only that, we were told repeatedly for years that Harry and Meghan had to play by different rules because of their titles, something Zara and Mike have never had to worry about.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Avalon Red.