ANDREW PIERCE: Borders Act comes back to bite David Lammy

Amid angry and emotional scenes in the Commons last week, Labour MP David Lammy tabled an emergency question about the deportation of serious criminals back to their homeland of Jamaica.

‘People watching will see the way the Government holds in such disrespect the contribution of West Indian, Caribbean and black people in this country,’ said the black MP for Tottenham, adding: ‘When will black lives matter once again?’

If Lammy really wants to blame someone for the deportations, he would do well to start by looking in the mirror.

A government minister for two years under Tony Blair, in June 2007 Lammy was promoted to Minister for Universities in Gordon Brown’s administration. Three months later, his government passed the UK Borders Act which, and I quote, ‘allows automatic deportation of some foreign nationals in two circumstances: if they are imprisoned for specific offences, or they are imprisoned for more than one year’.

Not a word of public protest at the time from Lammy, with his government salary and chauffeur-driven car.

In fact, his votes helped pass the legislation that enabled last week’s deportations to take place.

Rory can fill the yawning gap

Former Tory cabinet minister Rory Stewart’s eccentric idea of sleeping in voters’ houses during his campaign to be Independent Mayor of London has — perhaps inevitably — provoked ridicule. Tory MP Tom Tugendhat tweets: ‘Rory, it’s my wife’s birthday and the babysitter has let us down. Can you sleep on the sofa? The kids will hardly disturb you. If you explain your housing policies, I’m sure they’ll drop off like angels.’

Former Tory cabinet minister Rory Stewart’s eccentric idea of sleeping in voters’ houses during his campaign

In the latest list of donations to the Labour leadership campaigns, Lisa Nandy was top with £91,755, Rebecca Long-Bailey second with £54,493, and Sir Keir Starmer in third with £10,321. Shadow foreign secretary Emily Thornberry, meanwhile, raised precisely £0. With a bank balance like that, it’s no wonder she was eliminated from the race at the weekend.

In the latest list of donations to the Labour leadership campaigns, Lisa Nandy (pictured) was top with £91,755

More on John Bercow’s terribly written autobiography, Unspeakable, the title of which is an apt description of the ex-Speaker’s appalling behaviour over Brexit. Sainsbury’s is offering it at half-price — just one week after it was published.

Alas, newly elected Labour MP Tahir Ali will not be able to channel all his energies into helping the good people of his constituency, Birmingham Hall Green.

The latest Commons register of interests reveals he’s spending 36½ hours a month as a Royal Mail engineer — earning him an extra £42,000, almost half as much again as his £82,000 MP’s salary. Even more brazenly, Ali plans to continue taking this cash ‘until further notice’.

One suspects his letterbox will soon be inundated with furious messages from understandably irate constituents. Or, perhaps, they’ll be lost in the post?

More on John Bercow’s terribly written autobiography, Unspeakable, the title of which is an apt description of the ex-Speaker’s appalling behaviour over Brexit. Pictured: John Bercow in the House of Commons in October

Good tail for a maiden speech

In his maiden speech Neil Hudson, the Conservative MP for Penrith and The Border, said he is the first vet to be elected to the Commons since Sir Frederick Fitzwygram in Fareham in 1885.

He continued: ‘When a dog hears a vet knocking at the door, either they run a mile, thinking they are about to get an injection or, worse, have their anal glands emptied… or they run towards me.’

One particular dog latched on to his leg in a somewhat amorous manner. ‘I said to the owner: “Well, I think I’ve secured his vote.”

‘To which the owner smiled and replied: “Well, you’ve got mine now, too”.’