Daughter awarded £1,000 after mother’s ashes were lost in the post

A daughter was awarded £1,000 after her mother’s ashes were mistakenly sent through an EU country, opened by border force officials and arrived with some of the contents spilling out.

The woman, known as Mrs R in proceedings, paid £1,440 for a direct cremation for her mother, known as Mrs M, with the company Plan with Grace.

But a misunderstanding about Mrs R’s address meant her mother’s remains were sent to an unnamed EU country and by the time they arrived there was “some spillage and loss”, according to a complaint lodged with the financial ombudsman. Mrs R was also charged a customs fee.

Plan with Grace later argued that Mrs R was not owed compensation because she could be heard laughing about the incident in a phone call with them. The ombudsman sided with the daughter, insisting that the firm repay £1,000 of the bill. The customs fee was also reimbursed.

Mrs M died in April 2024 and was cremated on May 10. Under the terms of the prepaid plan her remains should have been returned to her family by June 7 but Plan with Grace did not arrange the transfer until June 14.

On June 17 her daughter had a notification that a customs fee was due. She paid and received her mother’s remains ten days later.

The ashes were sent with Royal Mail. The ombudsman ruled that this was an unsuitable method because Royal Mail has a 50g weight restriction for human ashes, and entire cremated remains usually weigh at least 2kg, so the company violated Royal Mail’s terms.

Mrs R complained to Plan with Grace, which initially sent flowers, reimbursed the customs fee and offered to send a voucher to apologise.

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Jo Chilvers, the ombudsman who looked at the case, said there was a “lasting impact” from the way Mrs R received her mother’s ashes, because they had not been treated with dignity and respect. She wrote in her final decision: “This is not a memory that is easily forgotten.”

Plan with Grace initially blamed the gaffe on Royal Mail but postage confirmation showed that the company had selected “international tracked and signed” as the shipping option. Chilvers said this could have been because of a misunderstanding about Mrs R’s address.

The direct cremation company also claimed that Mrs R could be heard laughing in a phone call she made to complain about the state in which her mother’s remains had arrived. In the call she was heard saying: “I’m laughing but it’s not funny, you know.”

Chilvers said: “I’m not persuaded this invalidates her testimony regarding the distress and upset she has experienced.” She said thatthe complainant was simply “masking her distress with joviality and humour”.

Plan with Grace was contacted for comment.