EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE: Lady Hussey’s departure a sign of royal service? 

Queen Mother biographer William Shawcross leaps to the defence of Susan Hussey insisting she isn’t racist, adding: ‘The attacks on her are totally unfair.’ 

But doesn’t her defenestration by the Palace underline the Royal Family’s lack of loyalty to servants? 

While much further down the pecking order, steward Backstairs Billy Tallon, who served the Queen Mother for half a century until her 2002 death, lost the grace-and-favour cottage at Clarence House he believed he had been promised for life. 

He died in 2007 in his flat on a Kennington housing estate.

Mohamed Fayed has refused to co-operate with tomorrow’s Channel 5 documentary Dodi – Last Days Of A Playboy and banned any members of his family from taking part. The film claims that the affair with Princess Diana was a ‘set-up’ by the former Harrods owner and has Dodi’s school pal Peter Riva stating: ‘Mohamed wanted to be British, he didn’t want to be the barrow boy from Egypt any more.’ Is it any wonder the documentary ends with a legal statement from Mohamed?

Dame Helen Mirren, pictured, has changed her tune about working with Harrison Ford, now mewling: ‘He taught me a great deal about film acting that to this day I’m still using.’ 

What did she say after the 1986 premiere of their film The Mosquito Coast? 

‘He can’t kiss – he finds it impossible to kiss on screen … he’s probably not very good off screen either.’ 

Did you kiss and make up, Helen?

Abandoning the BBC after two decades for TalkTV, Vanessa Feltz realised it was time to go when she inadvertently booked a holiday during the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee this year. ‘I said, ‘Surely you don’t want me to go away?’ And they said, ‘Oh no. It’ll be fine, have a lovely, lovely time’. The indifference was telling.’

Brideshead Revisited producer Derek Granger, who has died, was so unhappy with John Mortimer’s script for the Evelyn Waugh masterpiece that he completely rewrote it, recalling: ‘He saw it and not a word did I hear back. Who got the royalties? He did.’

Politicians get a mauling in TV channel Gold’s top ten Christmas cracker jokes, with the most popular asking : ‘What type of peas ruin Christmas dinner? MPs.’ And runner-up? ‘Why are the Government having problems with their own version of the Christmas Nativity? They can’t find three wise men.’ Has anyone ever seen a cracker gag that made them laugh?

Crestfallen Frank Skinner, whose rendition of Three Lions at the Royal Variety Performance prompted Sophie Wessex to urge him to keep the day job, should count his blessings he wasn’t performing for Prince Philip. Meeting Tom Jones after an RVP, Philip asked: ‘What do you gargle with, pebbles?’