EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE: Will William shirk at welcoming Harry back to the royal fold?

William, as Prince of Wales in receipt of £24million a year from the Duchy of Cornwall, enjoys a surplus which will diminish as he eventually bankrolls the households of his children. 

But it would quickly disappear should Harry and Meghan return to the gilded cage. Willliam would have to fund their duties, housing costs and schooling of Archie and Lilibet.

According to Harry, that prospect was all too much for King Charles. He claimed in Spare that his dad baulked at the prospect of him marrying Meghan and warned he didn’t have ‘enough money’ to support them both. 

Might William equally shirk at welcoming Harry back into the royal fold?

Harry (right) claimed in Spare that his dad baulked at the prospect of him marrying Meghan (left) and warned he didn’t have ‘enough money’ to support them both

Coronation expert Sir Roy Strong – dipping his delicate toe into the debate about Prince George replacing a traditional Royal military stint with service to the church – says as monarch, he would be supreme head of the Church of England. ‘The only concession ever made to any other Christian denomination was the presentation of the Bible in 1953 to the Queen by a Church of Scotland representative,’ he spouts. ‘It is therefore pertinent to ask whether George will have the option as to which faith he will choose. As in the case of the military, the consequences would be momentous.’ Deep waters for a ten-year-old prince!

Cost-of-living words of comfort from posh interior designer Nicky Haslam who admits his days designing £100,000 rooms for Mick Jagger and Rod Stewart are over. ‘I earn less, so I spend much less,’ he wails. ‘Similarly with food. I don’t need smart or exotic food, and I have just this minute eaten a processed cheese sandwich made with Kingsmill white sliced bread. Soft bread and processed cheese from a packet – which means it hasn’t been fiddled with – is perfectly acceptable. Trying harder is common.’ Methinks Nicky is having a giraffe.

Firecracker actress Frances Barber labels Ulez czar Sadiq Khan a ‘vile little, very little, misogynistic despot’. She adds: ‘I can set my watch on how long in an Uber trip before the rant against Khan begins… in severe roadworks, which frankly is always, it’s 30 seconds. I agree with all of them. He’s a disgrace.’ Get off the fence Frances!

Firecracker actress Frances Barber labels Ulez czar Sadiq Khan a ‘vile little, very little, misogynistic despot’

Dolly Parton endorses an attempt by 1,137 Dollys in County Kerry, who are bidding for a place in the Guinness Book of Records for the largest assembly of Parton lookalikes. ‘Thank you for liking me that much,’ she says. ‘But I’m easy to do. You can buy a cheap wig anywhere, you can pad your boobs if you haven’t got none.’ She adds: ‘I even lost a Dolly lookalike contest once at a drag show.’

Edelweiss warbler Vince Hill, who has died aged 89, was once rewarded for his devotion to Margaret Thatcher with a private dinner in her Downing Street flat. Did she disclose any secrets? ‘She showed me where James Callaghan had kept all his milk bottles,’ Vince revealed – no doubt with a discreet ‘say no more’ tap of his index finger on the nose.