How Princess Diana’s mother was ‘not cut out for maternity’: Frances Shand Kydd – who died 20 years ago today – left her husband and children for wallpaper tycoon, leading to troubled relationship with her royal daughter

On what would have been her 88th birthday in January, Charles Spencer paid a loving tribute to his mother.

The historian, 60, remembered Frances Shand Kydd with ‘love and gratitude’ as he took to social media to post a selection of newspaper cuttings – including one announcing the birth of his sister Princess Diana.

But the life of Frances, who died 20 years ago today, was a particularly tragic and complicated one – not least the relationship with her daughter.

She had a troubled marriage with Diana’s father – the future eighth Earl Spencer –  which ended in divorce after she fell for wallpaper tycoon Peter Shand Kydd.

Her four children were left in the care of their father after a fierce custody battle when Diana was seven.

The bitter split led to a complex relationship with her youngest daughter. As her brother previously recalled: ‘Diana used to wait on the doorstep for her, but she never came.’

His mother was not, he said, ‘cut out for maternity’.  

When Frances said in an interview months before her daughter’s death that it was ‘absolutely wonderful’ she had been stripped of her HRH title after her divorce from the then Prince Charles, Diana never spoke to her again. 

Frances spent the last of her days living alone in Seil – one of Scotland’s Slate Islands – where she remained after her second husband left her for a younger woman. 

Frances (right) wed at just 18-years-old to to 30-year-old ‘Johnnie’ (left) in 1954 – with her daughter, Princess Diana, going on to eerily mirror this in her own marriage

Frances was born into the regal world of the Sandringham Estate in Norfolk on January 20, 1936.

Socialising in royal circles from a young age – her father, Maurice Roche, was friends with King George VI and her mother, Lady Ruth Remoy, was a lady in waiting to the Queen Mother. 

In 1954, when she was just 18, she married 30-year-old Edward ‘Johnnie’ Spencer. 

The couple had their first two daughters, Lady Sarah McCorquodale and Lady Jane Fellowes, in 1955 and 1957 respectively.

Their desperate wish for a son was granted in 1960, but little baby John died just hours after being born.

By the time Diana arrived the following year, Frances’s marriage had become strained after her several pregnancies had failed to produce a male heir to Althorp. 

The birth of Charles in 1964 failed to cure Frances’s relationship ills and in 1967 she fell for married wallpaper tycoon Peter Shand Kydd.  

In 1969, her divorce was finalised and Frances went on to marry her lover. Having earned the nickname ‘the bolter’, a blazing custody battle commenced with John.

In the early days of the separation, Diana and her brother lived with their mother, whilst Sarah and Jane attended boarding school. 

They eventually all went back to live with their father after Frances’s custody attempts proved unsuccessful and she moved to Scotland with her new husband. 

Earl Spencer walks behind his mother’s coffin at her funeral at St Columba’s Cathedral in Oban, Scotland

Prince William (second left) and Prince Harry (centre) attending their grandmother’s funeral, June 10, 2004

Frances (left) had a troubled marriage with Edward John Spencer (right), who she married in 1936

The couple had two daughters within a few years, pictured here holding Sarah after her christening in Westminster Abbey in 1955

However, the marriage between Frances and Johnnie (pictured) continued to break down and ended in flames in 1967 after she fell for the married Peter Shand Kydd

Princess Diana did not speak to her mother after she did an interview with Hello! magazine before she tragically died in a car crash in Paris on August 31, 1997

Earl Spencer previously opened up about the impact his mother’s absence had on his and Diana’s childhood – including how his sister would wait for her return.

He recalled: ‘While she was packing her stuff to leave, she promised Diana she’d come back to see her. Diana used to wait on the doorstep for her, but she never came.’

He added: ‘Our father was a quiet, constant source of love, but our mother wasn’t cut out for maternity… she couldn’t do it. She was in love with someone else, infatuated really.’

Earl Spencer still felt able to unveil a portrait of his mother to mark what would have been her 85th birthday in 2021.  

Princess Diana (left) and Frances (right) attending the wedding of Charles Spencer, Frances’s youngest child

Frances with her youngest daughter Princess Diana at Wimbledon in 1993 

Frances pictured with Princess Diana, Harry and William in 1989

Princess Diana married Prince Charles in 1981 but Frances avoided the limelight that her youngest daughter brought and quietly ran a gift shop in Seil.  

In 1988, her second husband left her for a younger woman after almost 20 years. 

Frances found solace in religion. She converted to Catholicism at the age of 58 and devoted her life to the Church.

It was after Diana and Prince Charles divorced in 1996 that Frances returned to the spotlight with an interview with Hello! magazine.  

Frances pictured on holiday with Princess Diana (left), Prince Harry and Prince William on Necker Island in 1990

Frances (left) pictured on a beach on Necker Island  in 1990 with her daughters Princess Diana, Lady Jane Fellowes and Lady Sarah McCorquodale 

She said in May the following year that it was ‘absolutely wonderful’ that Diana, now no longer a member of the Royal Family, had lost her HRH title. 

The interview raised £30,000 which went towards building a prayer house on Iona, but this charitable act was not enough to repair the damage caused to the relationship with her daughter.

In a surprising twist through the grief, she went on to form a close friendship with the priest who kept vigil over Diana’s body after she was killed in a car crash in Paris.

Doctors at Paris’s Pitie-Salpetriere University Hospital had fought to save the Princess’s life but were unable to.

Father Yves-Marie Clochard-Bossuet was the duty chaplain on the night Diana passed away.

He watched over her body for ten hours before Prince Charles and Diana’s two sisters arrived. 

He went on to write to Frances after his cousin had told him about her strong Catholic faith. 

He previously told the Mail: ‘And so I wrote to her a very formal letter giving all the details [of the day of Diana’s death]. I wanted to tell her mother the nurses who had taken care of her had done things very well. 

‘There was nothing to complain about [even if] it was a hospital room and not in Buckingham Palace. And I told her that I had prayed and had stayed until the arrival of Prince Charles.’ 

Although he was not expecting a response, Frances replied a few days later.  

‘She thanked me, because I was the first to give information directly to her,’ he said. 

Frances (centre) pictured at Princess Diana’s funeral at Westminster Abbey with her daughters Jane (left) and Sarah (right)

Frances came to Paris to meet him and the pair developed a bond. 

She would return to the French capital twice a year to meet him and take him out to dinner.  

Fr Clochard-Bossuet added: ‘Frances Shand Kydd] told me she often went for a walk at night in London [in the days after Diana’s death] to where there were flowers for her. She also spoke to me a lot about [William and Harry]. She adored them.’ 

Frances continued to live a quiet life after Diana’s death and developed Parkinson’s Disease and brain cancer. 

She passed away aged 68 on June 3, 2004 at her home in Scotland. Her funeral on June 10 was attended by her grandsons Prince William and Prince Harry.