The reason why Meghan Markle ‘broke royal protocol’ on her first official engagement with the Queen – and Harry’s surprising reaction

Meghan Markle’s journey to becoming a full-time member of the Royal Family was fraught with a lot of well-publicised difficulties. 

In her months of dating Prince Harry and in the lead up to their wedding, there had been a number of critical stories in the press showing she was happy to trample on royal protocol.

So when Meghan went on her first royal engagement with the Queen in June 2018, the couple were nervous about how the press would cover it.

But things seemed to go well, as when Meghan was photographed making the Queen laugh, most of the coverage featured the pair of them giggling – with the Daily Mail’s front page reading: ‘How did Meghan make one so amused?’

Although conversations with the Queen are usually private, Harry later revealed in his 2023 memoir Spare that the pair bonded over their love of dogs and motherhood.

However, a minor row did also break out following the visit after a video emerged which showed the pair sharing a moment of confusion about who should get in a car first.

Meghan first offered to let the Queen get in the car first – before suggesting they switch round, asking: ‘What’s your preference?’.

It is believed that Meghan offered to let her new in-law go before her because the monarch preferred to sit behind the driver’s seat. 

The June 2018 video attracted a lot of attention after it showed the pair sharing a moment of confusion at the car door  

Meghan and the Queen in the car after they got past the awkward moment surrounding who was meant to get in first

After a few seconds of going back and forth, a flustered Meghan eventually stepped in at the Queen’s instruction before the then 92-year-old monarch followed her into her preferred seat behind the driver.

Royal expert Tina Brown later wrote in her 2022 bestselling book The Palace Papers that the Queen had a ‘twinkle in her eye’ when she allowed Meghan to take precedence. 

Etiquette expert William Hanson told MailOnline at the time: ‘The Queen always sits behind the driver.

‘This is just a case of habit, not protocol [protocol actually says the most important person sits diagonally behind the driver] but the Queen has always preferred being directly behind whoever is driving her.

‘Meghan was probably not aware of this and the royal household may have forgotten to brief The Duchess of Sussex in this nuance.

‘It was, however, a considerate gesture from the Duchess of Sussex to consider where the Queen would like to sit.’

Upon seeing the video, the public were divided about what it showed, with some posting comments such as: ‘Meghan looks so clueless, truly a fish out of water.’

Another said: ‘I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. This woman does not have what it takes to be a Royal.’

However, others were quick to defend her, with one writing: ‘Give the girl a break. She’s trying.’ 

In this picture, Meghan can been seen entering the car first and moving along to sit behind the front passenger

The Queen is then pictured following behind Meghan to sit behind the driver

A view of the motorcade as Queen Elizabeth II and Meghan arrived in Chester

Queen Elizabeth II arriving with the Duchess of Sussex by Royal Train at Runcorn Station to carry out engagements in Cheshire

Another wrote: ‘Not a fan of Meghan but give this woman a break. She must have been very nervous and didn’t do this on purpose or in a disrespectful way. The Queen seems to trust her and enjoy her company.’

But when Harry wrote his memoir Spare, he said both he and Meghan felt that after the successful trip ‘things are going to turn around now’. 

However, despite the evidence showing the coverage had been positive and largely focusing on the fact that she managed to make the Queen laugh, Harry had a surprising reaction, writing ‘the papers pronounced the trip an unmitigated disaster’.

‘They portrayed Meg as pushy, uppity, ignorant of royal protocol, because she’d made the unthinkable mistake of getting into a car before Granny’, he wrote.

The event itself had been a fairly mundane affair in the first place, with Meghan and the Queen opening a new bridge across the River Mersey in Cheshire. 

It was the the first and only time the Queen and Meghan carried out a joint engagement. 

While out with a senior member of the Royal Family, Meghan had to follow the plethora of long-established rules and habits that were in place for such events.

As she had married into The Firm at the age of 36, she was not brought up to appreciate all of the intricacies of life in the limelight like her husband Harry. 

The American actress had to learn how to properly curtsy, give a proper royal handshake, stand up when the Queen does, avoid any PDA and remember not to sign any autographs. 

Speaking to FEMAIL at the time, body language experts revealed how Meghan appeared deferential, nervous – but above all gloriously happy to be in the monarch’s company.

Meghan later revealed to Harry that she talked to the Queen about her desire for children during their first joint engagement

The Queen and Meghan appeared relaxed in each other’s company during the event

Queen Elizabeth II and Meghan observe a moment of silence in memory of the victims of the Grenfell Tower fire

After the car incident, Meghan was seen walking behind the Queen as they went around Chester

And the fond feeling was certainly mutual, with the Queen clearly ‘delighted’ by how Meghan performed. 

Harry later wrote of the event in Spare: ‘She returned from the trip glowing. We bonded, she told me. “The Queen and I really bonded!”

‘”We talked about how much I wanted to be a mom and she told me the best way to induce labour was a good bumpy car ride! I told her I’d remember that when the time came.”‘ 

Photographs from the event showed the two women appearing to enjoy each other’s company, sharing a joke and laughing. 

The monarch was also seen sharing her blanket with Meghan while they travelled in the back of the car together.

In a March 2021 interview with CBS, Meghan revealed why the Queen’s gesture meant so much to her.  

She said: ‘We were in the car going between engagements. And she has a blanket that sits across her knees for warmth, and it was chilly. 

‘And she was like, “Meghan, come on”, and put it over my knees as well… and it made me think of my grandmother, where she’s always been warm and inviting and really welcoming.’

And in another sign of her growing friendship with the Queen, Harry’s wife sported a pair of delicate pearl earrings, given to her by the monarch as a gift. 

Meghan would later wear these same earrings to the monarch’s funeral in September 2022.

The Queen had gifted Meghan a pair of delicate pearl earrings, which she wore on her first joint engagement with the monarch in June 2018 (left). At the monarch’s funeral in September 2022, she wore them again (right)

Although the apparent confusion over the car only played a small part in the event, Harry still seemed to be angry about it when he wrote his memoir Spare half a decade later

And the month after, she spoke about her relationship with the late Queen in an interview with US magazine Variety, where she said: ‘I’ve reflected on that first official engagement that I had with her, how special that felt. I feel fortunate.

‘And I continue to be proud to have had a nice warmth with the matriarch of the family.’

The visit was perceived as an occasion for the Sovereign to give a masterclass on how to handle royal engagements for newcomer Meghan. 

After all, Meghan hasn’t been the only person to have seemingly made a royal faux pas in the company of the Queen.

US President Donald Trump caught a wave of social media attention when he gaffed by walking in front of the monarch as they inspected a guard of honour in 2018.

However, although the apparent confusion over the car only played a small part in the coverage of the event, Harry still seemed to be angry about the criticism when he wrote his memoir half a decade later. 

He wrote of the event: ‘In truth she’d done exactly what Granny had told her to do. Granny said get in; she got in. 

‘No matter. There were stories for days about Meg’s breach, about her overall lack of class — about her daring not to wear a hat in Granny’s presence. The Palace had specifically directed Meg not to wear a hat.

‘Granny also wore green to honor the victims of Grenfell Tower, and no one told Meg to wear green — so they said she didn’t give a fig about the victims.

‘I said: The Palace will make a phone call. They’ll correct the record. They didn’t.’