Why Duchess Sophie became a ‘second daughter’ to the late Queen and received special honour never given to Diana or Fergie, royal expert reveals 

The personal relationships between members of the Royal Family are always shrouded in a veil of mystery.

Despite what royal experts and authors would have you believe, no one really knows what goes on behind the closed doors of the Palace.

But one of the biggest clues for royal watchers is when the monarch gives out awards from the prestigious Royal Victorian Order.

It is a dynastic knighthood which recognises distinguished personal service to the monarch and is one of the only public clues to see who is up and down in the royal pecking order.

Dame Grand Cross and Knight Grand Cross are the highest rank in the order for women and men respectively, and they are highly coveted by members of the family.

Sarah, Duchess of York, and Diana, Princess of Wales, never received one despite Fergie being married to the Queen’s favourite son Andrew for a decade and the princess being married to the heir to the throne for more than 15 years.

However one woman who married into the Royal Family and was quickly given the award was Sophie, Duchess of Edinburgh.

She was given the honour by the late Queen Elizabeth II in 2010 after being married to her youngest son Prince Edward for just 11 years, a year before he received the same honour.

Princess Kate, who will one day be Queen, joined Sophie in the late Queen’s good graces when she was given the award in 2019.

Here, MailOnline looks back at the personal relationship between Queen Elizabeth II and her reportedly favourite daughter-in-law – Sophie, Duchess of Edinburgh.

Sophie was born into a middle-class family and ran her own PR company before she married Edward in 1999 and joined the Royal Family.

But her royal career had a shaky start, and in some respects, Sophie and Edward were the Harry and Meghan of their day.

Like the Sussexes, they insisted on trying to break the mould and forge lucrative commercial careers – she in PR and he in TV production – in tandem with their royal duties.

Then Sophie was sensationally caught up in a humiliating ‘sting’ operation engineered by the News of the World after talking with a ‘Fake Sheik’ posing as a potential client. Her taped indiscretions about senior politicians were highly embarrassing.

For his part, Edward was lambasted for trying to cash in on his royal links in his commercial ventures. 

However, crucially, unlike the Sussexes, Sophie and Edward wound down their businesses and dug in to royals duties, rebuilding their reputations within the Royal Family.

The Countess is now the second-hardest working female royal after Princess Anne, and has won plaudits for her work on preventable blindness and the issue of sexual violence in war. One senior Whitehall source told Daily Mail Royal Editor Rebecca English that her championing of the cause has been ‘invaluable’.

‘She is not afraid to shy away from the questions that need to be asked of those in charge and hold their feet to the fire,’ they say.

Her hard work for ‘The Firm’ did not go unnoticed, and before long Sophie and the late Queen began to grow closer and eventually she became like a ‘second daughter’. 

Indeed, after losing her own mum, Mary Rhys-Jones, to cancer in 2005 at just 71, Sophie had taken to affectionately calling the Queen ‘Mama’. 

They spent a lot of time together. Sophie and Prince Edward, live with their two children just a stone’s throw away from Windsor Castle at Bagshot Park. 

Walking their dogs together was a favourite pastime. The Queen and Sophie also shared a love of military history, spending hours poring over ancient documents in the Royal Archives at Windsor. 

The seeds of their fond relationship were sown in 2002 after the Queen lost first her sister, Princess Margaret, then her adored mother, Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother, within two months. It was such a comfort to have another female family member in her life.

The shattering death of her beloved Philip in April 2021 brought the Queen and Sophie even closer, with the monarch often inviting her to take her late husband’s place with her in the back of the car.

This deep-rooted affection and respect explains why, when the Queen’s nearest and dearest gathered in Scotland to mourn her sudden passing in September 2022, Sophie was the only non-blood relative – aside from Princess Anne’s husband, Sir Tim Laurence – who was front and centre of the intimate family group. 

Indeed, Sophie, privately educated from a solid middle-class family in Kent (her father is a retired tyre salesman and her mother was a secretary) has become the real royal deal and what the Queen considered to be one of the safest pairs of hands in The Firm. 

Sophie is devoted to and fiercely protective of her children, having endured serious medical complications during the birth of Louise and an ectopic pregnancy.

‘She went through a lot to have her family and she and Edward have never relied on nannies. They have always had a rule that, when working, one of them is at home with the children as far as possible,’ Penny Mountbatten previously said.

And because the Queen lived close by, she got to spend a great deal of time with Louise and James when they were growing up, often watching Mr Tumble on CBeebies when they were little.

The Queen even turned to Sophie for help with one of the biggest royal tasks of the last few years – integrating Harry’s wife Meghan Markle into the family. 

To help her settle in, it was claimed that the late Queen suggested Sophie as a ‘sort of mentor’ to Meghan. 

But the Duchess of Sussex ‘felt she had Harry’ and didn’t need further help from an advisor, and Sophie was never blamed for the disaster that was Megxit.

It was often Sophie who was picked to travel with the Queen when she was attending church services at either Sandringham or Balmoral. 

She won the coveted spot because the monarch ‘found her presence soothing’ and liked to be ‘completely calm before church’.

It was believed that Sophie was seen by the Queen as the Royal Family’s safest pair of hands, because her marriage to Prince Edward has lasted, while Charles, Anne and Andrew have all been divorced.

The Queen and Sophie’s close bond was said to be down to their similar interests, with the pair often spending Saturday or Sunday evenings together at Windsor, watching old war films and historical documentaries.

Sophie was even thought to have convinced the Queen to watch The Crown – suggesting she might enjoy the Netflix series which is based on her reign.

The Duchess of Edinburgh is patron of more than 70 organisations, focusing largely on the rights of women and girls across the world.

Sophie’s determination saw her take on full-time royal duties, and embrace rural pursuits beloved by the royals, such as riding, fishing, shooting game and carriage-driving.

In the years before the Queen’s death she became her rock. Speaking in 2021, one friend said: ‘Sophie set herself a series of tasks. She learned how to ride properly and now rides with the Queen at least once a week.

‘She took up carriage-driving to be close to Philip. 

‘She had her own series of scandals before her marriage when she was accused of cashing in on her royal connections, but she calmly put all that behind her and has been an exemplary daughter-in-law.’

Sophie previously explained to the Telegraph how her visits during lockdown involved the Queen standing on a 20ft high balcony and waving down at her.

She and Edward were the first to visit the grieving monarch after Phillip’s death, and as they left the castle Sophie was visibly upset.

At the time, she was described as one of a group of four who were providing support for the monarch.

‘Sophie is like another daughter to the Queen, they are that close,’ said a royal source. ‘She is trusted and relied on like few others.’