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A woman is running the London Marathon on Sunday (April 20) for her ex-boyfriend who has been diagnosed with cancer. She admitted she left him because she couldn’t cope with his diagnosis but is now keen to raise money for his cause.
Danielle Epstein, 32, said she: ”felt like the most awful person leaving somebody because they have cancer”. Her ex, Jelle Fresen, was diagnosed with a grade 4 medulloblastoma in September 2022. He was just 37 at the time.
Jelle, who works as a software engineer at Google, suffered dizzy spells and vomiting while the couple were trying to buy a house in London. After his diagnosis, he had an operation, radiotherapy and chemotherapy and had to re-learn how to walk.
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The type of tumour Jelle has is so rarely seen in adults that his prognosis was unknown. As a result, Danielle – who is a physics teacher – had panic attacks and her mental health declined leading them to split.
Since then, she has moved to Thailand but as the pair are still friends, she decided to run the London Marathon in order to raise money for Brain Tumour Research, with Jelle cheering her on from the sidelines.
Danielle said: “I still love Jelle deeply and want to support him, but I came to realise I couldn’t stay with him as his partner. I felt like the most awful person, leaving somebody because they have cancer but it was damaging my mental health and it wasn’t helping Jelle.
“We’re still figuring things out and finding ways to continue our relationship as friends. Our whole lives came out from under us. We were on a certain path to a certain future and within one day we knew it wasn’t going to work out like that anymore.”
Danielle went on to explain how Jelle’s diagnosis impacted her health. “I was so worried and devastated, I couldn’t sleep or eat,” she said. “I was having panic attacks and was on so much medication to sort myself out I just couldn’t function.
“The UK is not a developing nation; we should be scientifically innovative, but treatments haven’t changed in decades and we seem to be behind other countries and the advances they have made. We desperately need more research and trials to develop better treatments.”
Jelle was diagnosed after a series of GP appointments and a private MRI scan. A cancerous mass was discovered and he had surgery in September 2022, which left him with nerve damage.
He had palsy in the right side of his face and double-vision. Danielle said: “I felt so helpless watching all this unfold, so I knew I had to do something.
“I’m not a runner, but Jelle has done marathons before, so I thought it would be a challenge for me and a nice tribute to him and it felt like something to aim towards. I won’t be fast, but I’m determined to get round.
“Training has been tough physically and mentally, just keeping going when you’re so bored is challenging. But I have the best motivation; if Jelle can go through all of this then I can run a marathon.”
Danielle’s ex has been supportive of the challenge and Jelle will be there on Sunday to watch her complete the feat. He said: “I will be there on the day to cheer Danielle on, I think it’s incredible what she’s doing. When she said she was going to do a marathon, I must admit I had my doubts.
“I think she only did about 5km when we were together and that was with a lot of complaining. I’ve got so much respect for her discipline and perseverance.”
Danielle is raising money for Brain Tumour Research. You can donate here. Carol Robertson, national events manager of the charity, said: “We’re so sorry to hear about Jelle’s diagnosis.
“While his tumour type is rare, brain cancer is not, with one in three people knowing somebody affected. We’re very grateful to Danielle for taking on this huge challenge to help raise funds for our cause.
“Our Marathon runners are supported every step of the way, and we look forward to cheering her across the finish line. If you have your own place through the ballot, we would love you to join our Fighting Force London Marathon team.”
For more London Marathon news and explainers, click here.
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